Kind of Happy?

[ sycobuny on Fri Apr 18 at 06:14 AM // category: life ]

Lately I’ve been feeling pretty decent; obviously my Poison Ivy episode is over and done with. But I’m not really talking physically. I’ve just been in a decent mood this week, compared to last week which seemed to drag into eternity. I attribute this to a few factors:

  1. Work is pretty relaxed at the moment. - I don’t really have to explain this one too much, but still: on a standard day it almost never feels like anything gets accomplished; welcome to the federal government. However, this past week, it’s felt like there’s forward motion, if nothing else. Plus, my hours put in are matching how many are supposed to go in, something which hasn’t happened for a few weeks now.
  2. I can speak again. - This one wouldn’t really be noticeable to anyone online, and it’s probably not particularly noticeable to anyone in person but me. For the past few years, I’ve noticed a downturn in my ability to just enumerate thoughts from my head verbally. Writing was never really affected, just speech. But it often wound up that I was floundering for words. It seems recently, however, that this particular veil has been lifted. Being someone for whom the power of language was considered one of his greatest assets, having that particular gift back (more or less) is quite uplifting.
  3. My apartment and life is getting cleaner. - I’ve always thought of my living situation as being an almost direct reflection on my mental state. One of the most mentally relaxed periods in my life was when I was living at Penn State one month working on a musical. Something that sticks out to me is how clean everything was there. The more cluttered my head gets these days, the more of a mess my apartment and my desk at work and pretty much everything everywhere I touch is. So, while it’s not spotless by a long shot, some cleaning I’ve done over the past week seems to indicate to me that my brain’s clearing out some much needed dust as well.

Maybe I spend too much time analyzing happiness, particularly my own. However, I like to think of it as determining what specifically it is that makes me happy so I can keep doing that. There are buttons that give you food and there are buttons that give you electric jolts; I just want to know which is which.

-- sycobuny // 2008.04.18 @ 06:14 AM

Leave a comment


Name:
Email:
URL:   
Remember personal info?