Religious Envy
[ sycobuny on Sat Apr 05 at 07:49 PM // category: life // comments: 2 ]
I am not religious. I know Eric is not, and I feel as he feels that it’s quite foolish, most of the time. I think that magical thinking can tend to cloud my judgement.
Let me give you a scenario: I stop at a Dunkin Donuts on Tuesday, and start humming to myself Take Me Home Tonight, by Eddie Money. It was stuck in my head, completely without reason. I head back out to the car shortly after completing my stop in the restroom. I turn on the car and get on the road. I turn up the radio, and Take Me Home Tonight is on the radio. That’s weird, and for those who believe in one’s innate ability to alter the course of events independent of physical interaction, it would imply that my brain somehow forced the universe to play that song for me. What’s more likely is that the station was playing 80’s music, and that song is quite popular to play in such a grouping.
I want to believe I have an effect on the universe. Sometimes I let myself believe it for a little while, but I always snap back to what I think is reality and I feel stupid for letting myself think such thoughts. I envy people who know reality to be something different. I think I am just a biological Von Neumann machine interacting with another machine to effect further inter-process communication. I’d love to think I have purpose here, that maybe I’m wasting time and god-given talents to change the world for the better, but I just think I’m lazy, and I’m not really meant for anything special.
Mostly, I’m just posting a blog to say I did. I’ll try to clarify this later but this is my second draft and I’m halfway towards deleting the whole damn thing all over again.
-- sycobuny // 2008.04.05 @ 07:49 PM
2 Comments
Comment #25
[ sycobuny on Sat Apr 05 at 08:36 PM ]
Note how terrible this entry is: It seems that greater than 75% of the sentences start with “I” or some derivative thereof. That is fantastically horrible writing, if I do say so myself. And I do.
-- sycobuny // 2008.04.05 @ 08:36 PM
Comment #26
[ rakaur on Sat Apr 05 at 10:08 PM ]
I like you.
-- rakaur // 2008.04.05 @ 10:08 PM
